I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
