Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
