Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
