Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
