ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
