quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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