I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
