i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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