I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
