Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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