I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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