What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
