I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She's just so happy...and so naked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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