Sponge bath it is.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
