I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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