carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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