I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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