he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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