Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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