I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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