This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize