Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
