just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I queefed so loud it echoed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
