Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
two words...techno handjob
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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