Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
