we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
