this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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