i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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