My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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