It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize