Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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