Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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