Soap is not a condiment
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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