Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
