to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize