your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
