TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This is the high leading the old right now
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
