I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Farmville is her only friend.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
