Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
