I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
