oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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