Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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