hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
last night I used snow as a chaser
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
