Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
