I want to have your abortion
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
