Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize