Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
