it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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