Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
