Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
