You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
