we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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