...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
