I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to sanitize my soul.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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