is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
