dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
