I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
sex in a hospital.. check
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize