I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
